Vol. 4 - February 10, 2021
In this issue: Essay | Go vote | Read Local | The Big Picture | The bright side | For your earhole | Now read this | Do-gooding | Final frame
Pandemic winter blues.
“There is no bad weather, only bad clothes.” Or so the saying goes. Even with the sunshine, the last week of extremely cold temperatures has definitely taken a toll on my mental health. It’s really driven home just how much I’ve been relying on regular access to the outdoors to keep myself afloat In These Times. I’ve been thrilled with the snow we’ve gotten this year, a noticeable difference from the past few and far more mild (overall) winters, It seemed the weather was cooperating, at least this one last time, to bring us a winter wonderland to enjoy during the ongoing slog through pandemic-landia.
When the mercury dips below zero, though, even good clothes aren’t enough to make me want to be outside for more than a few minutes. The result has been an extra gloomy week for me and a near complete inability to string enough thoughts together to write anything about one single topic. There’s just SO MUCH going on right now: Impeachment (Part Deux), Wisconsin GOP (and friends) trying to kill us all, Cat Lawyer, Lincoln Hills still open/terrible, the eventual heat death of the universe, and so on.
I have had other bouts of depression during quarantine, of course - and I’m not remotely alone in this. Recent US Census Bureau surveys show a fairly dramatic spike in adults reporting an increase in depression and anxiety (I mean, duh). For those who already deal with clinical depression and other mental health and addiction issues, the challenges are even greater. I am simply lucky not to have had anything more than mild, manageable encounters with depression and anxiety since my teen years.
Even so, I have never been good at sitting still or allowing myself time to just be sad for a while. Of course, that generally hasn’t served me well. But neither do I believe in simply “sitting with” difficult emotions because I fear getting stuck in them. My compromise, as I’ve grown older and learned a few things from wiser people, is to let myself walk slowly through them--to feel what I’m feeling, acknowledge them, to be gentle with myself for it, and to then let those emotions pass through me. I am trying, at least. We are all dealing with our own personal traumas and the daily, creeping, shared horror show that is our world right now. None of this is OK. We should not expect ourselves to be OK. Or to write coherently on a regular basis, in my case. That doesn’t stop me from yearning, with everything I’ve got, for a return to some semblance of OK-ness. For consistent motivation and energy. To hug my gosh darn friends again. That much is “normal,” anyway.
I am trying not to become resentful of people who have given in to those yearnings, putting their own immediate wants above the well-being of the people around them and their communities. Resentment will not make things better, make me better. Still, it is unrelentingly heartbreaking and frustrating to be confronted with the clear evidence of my fellow human’s selfishness and spite--especially from those elected, ostensibly, to represent our best interests in the halls of power. It is difficult to know that the actions of those who’ve given themselves over to those worst instincts will likely drag us all down with them, into a more unjust society and an even longer and more brutal pandemic than it ever needed to be--if only we’d just built societies based on true equity, connection, mutual aid, trust, and transparency. If only we could finally allow ourselves to confront the ugliest parts of our past and present. To acknowledge the hurt and the loss, to let it move through us and then make space for real accounting and, eventually, healing.
I let myself be angry. I refuse to ignore or downplay any of it anymore. I refuse to let it become all that I am, too.
This morning I forced myself to do a little stretching, put on real clothes, eat a nice breakfast, read some of my current book (Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi, if you’re curious). Touchpoints. Things over which I have some control and make me feel a little more like myself. One foot in front of the other. I know I hold so much privilege, have it vastly better than many. I can hold that truth and my own struggles at the same time. I can try to be gentle with myself. It’s the only way to get through this with my heart and my head intact and ready for the work ahead. There is so much work ahead and we are all needed for it.
All of which is to say, I hope you are able to extend some kindness and patience to yourself, too, in These Times especially. This too shall pass, we know. But it’s also OK if you need to spend some time crying into a pillow or staring at a wall or stewing in your sweatpants while eating ice cream from a tub. I just hope you’re able to acknowledge what you’re feeling and let it flow through you instead of stagnating, to make space for the next thing. Do something nice for yourself, no matter how small. And if you just can’t right now, I hope you know that you are loved and there is help and there is no shame in seeking it out.
This is the world I want to build with you--one of compassion, grace, accountability, and community. Just...once the air doesn’t hurt my face anymore.
[Resources: Better Help offers affordable, online counseling | Trans Lifeline provides a wide variety of support to trans and non-binary people | Wisconsin and national crisis hotlines]
Go vote.
If you haven’t already, be sure to request your absentee ballots for the Spring Primary Election on Tuesday, Feb. 16 and the Spring Election on April 6. Local races have the most immediate impact on our lives! Madison: Learn about candidates for Common Council via WORT’s handy list and recordings of candidate forums.
Read local.
Madison/Wisconsin-centric news and commentary.
Ellie Gibson, a single mom in Oregon, Wisconsin, has converted her front porch into a food pantry. She and her story are incredible. In a country that properly cared for its citizens, none of this would be necessary.
Gov. Evers will give his budget address next Tuesday, Feb. 16, and has announced that it will include a proposal to legalize adult recreational marijuana use in the state. I 100% support this, though sadly I’m sure Republicans (under the influence of the ever shitty Tavern League) will do their best to kill the measure. That said, any eventual legalization must come in tandem with complete amnesty for everyone currently serving time for marijuana-related charges, expungement of records of same, reparations for lives derailed by its criminalization, and equitable guardrails that ensure prioritization of BIPOC-owned and operated dispensaries and grow operations. The fact remains that the criminalization of marijuana has disproportionately impacted Black and Brown people and communities and legalization without equity and reparations tends to lead to the creation of further disparities, as wealthy and/or well-connected white people and corporations move in to reap the benefits. (Illinois’ 2019 legalization bill provides a good model)
Surprise! Robin Vos’ Taskforce on Racial Disparities was the hollow distraction to avoid real work or change that we all thought it was. Recently released emails direct from its chair, Assembly Majority Leader Jim Steineke, lay it all out.
“Bringing back concerts in Madison this spring is reckless.” [Scott Gordon for Tone Madison] Gonna have to agree with Scott on this one. I want live music back as much (if not more) than the next person, but I want people not to get sick and die even more. We’re just not ready yet.
Get it together, Wisconsin. The case of a state lawmaker who doesn’t appear to live in the district he represents is just another example of how Scott Walker’s dismantling of the Government Accountability Board (GAB) in favor of a split partisan “oversight” committee has allowed corruption to go unchecked. Walker’s legacy of absolute shit-stainery lives on in our completely unnecessary political dysfunction.
Speaking of, the state’s Republican Congressional delegation continues to prove that they don’t believe in accountability, or even democracy. All five members--Reps. Bryan Steil, Mike Gallagher, Glenn Grothman, Tom Tiffany, Scott Fitzgerald--voted against stripping Q-Anon Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene of her committee assignments, the absolute least the GOP should do to punish Greene for her racist, anti-Semitic, and riot supporting statements and open harassment of mass shooting survivors and fellow legislators. Shitty bonus: The same five paragons of cowardice also voted against a resolution to condemn all forms of anti-Asian sentiment and violence related to COVID-19.
The big picture.
News and commentary from around the country/world.
“There is no unity with anti-democratic conspiracy-mongers and those who welcome white nationalists into their fold. Forget unity. Save democracy. Then we can talk about unity.” [Jennifer Rubin for The Washington Post/paywall]
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and other GOP leaders are pushing for a sweeping state bill to “crack down on disruptive protests that would create new classes of crimes that include up to 15-years in jail if police declare that nine or more people have participated in a riot.” This strikes me as flagrantly unconstitutional, but anything to further criminalize peaceful protesters--especially if they’re Black or Brown. Example: During recent confrontations between Black Lives Matter protesters and Proud Boys, where the PBs harassed and physically attacked racial justice demonstrators, guess who actually faced charges and penalties by police?
Body Cameras Haven’t Stopped Police Brutality. Here’s Why. [Louise Matsakis for Wired]
And now, this:
“I’m here live. I am not a cat.” A (hilarious) lesson in the pitfalls of technology. And yes, this lawyer has already been milkshake ducked.
The bright side: Nature Edition!
Winter in Wisconsin has layers and so you you
Hey! I bet you’ve noticed that some birds hang out even through the coldest months of the year. Ever wondered which ones you’re likely to see hanging out in your neighborhoods and how they do it? We’ve got a guide for that, plus some tips for making winter birds’ lives a little easier.
Speaking of birbs! This weekend (Feb. 12-15) is the Great Backyard Bird Count. You can help SCIENCE from the comfort of your own home, car, or nearby walk--and just 15 minutes of your time! Learn more about what it is and how to participate here.
Wanna help track trail conditions for you and your fellow hikers/skiers/snowshoers? Travel Wisconsin is recruiting volunteers to help keep an eye on and report trail conditions across the state. Learn more here (pdf) and sign up here.
For your ear/eyeholes.
Fran Tirado, one of the Food 4 Thot podcast’s resident thots, put together this truly excellent playlist of disco and disco-adjacent jams. Inject some gay joy into your day with “Bad Gworls.” [Spotify]
If you aren’t listening to the Black Pumas, you should be.
The 2020 edition of “Life In A Day” is available for free on YouTube. The feature-length film edits together footage taken by thousands of people from across the globe, all taken on a single day last July, and is a remarkable look at the stunning variety (and yet common threads) of humanity.
Now read this.
I’m just going to continue quoting and recommending Lyz Lenz forever, apparently: “Your pain is important and something has been broken.”
Daniel Lavery continues to be one of my absolute favorite writers of cultural commentary and humor over at his Shatner Chatner newsletter. You may recognize Daniel from such triumphs as co-founding The Toast, and Texts from Jane Eyre.
'Fuck Your Feelings' Never Applies to White Men" by Laurie Penny on Medium: "These are men who have who have built a mass movement around refusing to handle their emotions like adults. The further the new right drifts from the realm of reason, the more it loses control of its own emotions, the more it insists that its every tremor of feeling be treated as sacred fact." Laurie Penny.
Do-gooding.
Drop some cash on Trans Lifeline’s new Folx HRT Care Fund and help transgender and non-binary people access needed medical care.
Final frame.
‘Til next time.
Thanks for reading! Hit me up with questions, comments, suggestions, and tips on great hiking spots.
Disclaimer/Disclosure: I am employed by the Wisconsin chapter of The Nature Conservancy. However, any and all opinions expressed in this newsletter are mine alone and do not necessarily represent the opinions or positions of my employer.
I am a recovered Civil War reenactor.