i journaled the same way until I read "We Both Laughed in Pleasure". Although it was always extremely sporadic. Usually I'd write about a new crush or fling or boyfriend, then nothing, and then write again saying something like, "Well, that didn't work out like I planned". ha.
I did keep some really raw and sad journals when I was a depressed young teen, but they were too painful to keep around.
"We Both laughed in pleasure" is a collection of journal entries by Lou Sullivan, a gay trans man who grew up in Wisconsin(!!) in the 70's, and died in SF in the 90's. It's carefully curated (but not censored, besides aliases!) from thousands of handwritten journals by his friends and accomplices, finished only recently, but it caused me to question why I had this rigid thought process around my journals. I also have less of a filter when I type, so while I was reading it I started writing on my laptop. I now have a doc that I add to every year, one for 2022 and one for 2023. I think that taking a less performative approach has been really beneficial, and it allows me to understand what I was going through at those times when I read through and find patterns.
I highly highly recommend the book!! It's a beautiful, intense, complex picture of a lost queer elder, someone I felt a lot of kinship to.
Thanks for sharing! I've heard nothing but good things about WBLIP and have been meaning to read it, so will definitely move that up my to-read pile. (Similarly, there's a great biography of Lou Sullivan that I recommend as a supplement - "Lou Sullivan: Daring to be a Man Among Men" by Brice Smith). I agree, too, that since I've tried being less prescriptive and performative in my journaling, it's felt a lot more whole and beneficial and fun!
My mom has suppressed her emotions for so long, it's really a glass case of explosives at this point. I found an old worksheet she'd filled out with a mentor of some kind about how directionless she felt as a young stay-at-home mom in very rural & conservative North Dakota. It's like a glimmer of the discontent she can't really talk about now.
i journaled the same way until I read "We Both Laughed in Pleasure". Although it was always extremely sporadic. Usually I'd write about a new crush or fling or boyfriend, then nothing, and then write again saying something like, "Well, that didn't work out like I planned". ha.
I did keep some really raw and sad journals when I was a depressed young teen, but they were too painful to keep around.
"We Both laughed in pleasure" is a collection of journal entries by Lou Sullivan, a gay trans man who grew up in Wisconsin(!!) in the 70's, and died in SF in the 90's. It's carefully curated (but not censored, besides aliases!) from thousands of handwritten journals by his friends and accomplices, finished only recently, but it caused me to question why I had this rigid thought process around my journals. I also have less of a filter when I type, so while I was reading it I started writing on my laptop. I now have a doc that I add to every year, one for 2022 and one for 2023. I think that taking a less performative approach has been really beneficial, and it allows me to understand what I was going through at those times when I read through and find patterns.
I highly highly recommend the book!! It's a beautiful, intense, complex picture of a lost queer elder, someone I felt a lot of kinship to.
Thanks for sharing! I've heard nothing but good things about WBLIP and have been meaning to read it, so will definitely move that up my to-read pile. (Similarly, there's a great biography of Lou Sullivan that I recommend as a supplement - "Lou Sullivan: Daring to be a Man Among Men" by Brice Smith). I agree, too, that since I've tried being less prescriptive and performative in my journaling, it's felt a lot more whole and beneficial and fun!
My mom has suppressed her emotions for so long, it's really a glass case of explosives at this point. I found an old worksheet she'd filled out with a mentor of some kind about how directionless she felt as a young stay-at-home mom in very rural & conservative North Dakota. It's like a glimmer of the discontent she can't really talk about now.
Thank you for sharing.